Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Almost 9 months & day after Xmas

So its 5am now, you woke up ate and fell back asleep, I put you in my bed ( that's where I usually nurse you at night) and now as I'm curled up with you as im kissing your forehead and your little hands, & smelling your hair ( babies smell so good!) and I couldn't stop thinking about how crazy it is, just this whole having a baby.
Not in a way like " oh wow we have a baby" but laying here looking at you I just find it so crazy that " we" or " I" created this little human- I mean to really think about it blows my mind.
It's such a strange surreal but amazing feeling.
It puts a whole new perspective on your own humanity.
I think anyone reading this,that is a parent at one point or other for sure has laid with their child and thought
" holy crap, we created you, your my mini me,"
I knew nothing of you a year ago and now I couldn't imagine life without u, I mean really.
Not sure at what point each person has that realization but I'm sure of it that everyone does.
Haha especial laying here in the middle of the night with nothing but your thoughts, you really think deeply in it.
It feels like your an extension of me, almost how you would look at your arm or leg. But this is still while you are sleeping, once you wake and I start seeing a little personality and all the different ways you react and act, that blows my mind more. It's totally your own, at almost nine months you have a personality that is becoming more clear with each day. So this little extension of me has its own mind and soul that is different that mine.
I could go more into but I probably should go back to sleep before your up again.
I haven't written in a while, your walking so much now that its harder to sit you in one place and do anything.
Your very active and love to be moving non stop, so yes walking while holding my fingers is your absolute favorite. Pretty much no matter what, if your fussy, hungry, or tired, if I set you down on the floor and give you my fingers to hold, & start walking with with you, you instantly become happy .
So with that being said WE WALk ALOT ;) ALL DAY EVERY DAy! Haha
Every day is exciting with you, I mean it really is. I love seeing you change and develop day by day I'm front of my eyes.
Iv had to cut back on work more since you are a busy job of mine, but I'm ok with it, I figure work will always be there but watching you change and grow won't.
You are still with me 24/7 and Although i defiantly need breaks here n there and ok sometimes more then just "hear n there" but I wouldn't and don't wanna change any of it.
And again I'm lucky enough to where I can cut back on work and we are ok cause otherwise I honestly would not know what to do.
It's all good :) I do plan on getting your grandparents to watch you a bit after the holidays are over so I could get back into work and just keeping up with the everything. As much as I just want you all to myself all day, everything is about balance.
So i guess it's good for me to work on other areas of my life other then you :)
Ill post more later about this month and what your doing. About your first holidays and how spoiled you got by all your family ( especially all your grandparents!!)
So since you have so many new toys to play with today maybe it'll keep you entertained long enough for me to get
Other things done :)
Well my sweet girl- not to sound cheesy but you are, by far the best gift i could ever ask for. I love you with all my heart.
your Mama
your first kiss
he had string cheese in his mouth and you went and took a bite...lady n the tramp (=
many faces of Alex
your fav rag doll "ivy"
getting you ready for the circus

we have the same feet (sorry bout that)

Santas first Delivery

eating your face

with your grandma Mila

Gma and you

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