Wednesday, August 29, 2012


Having a baby, especially your first, is kinda like a tsunami that hits land. You hear of it, you imagine it, you could prepare for it. But realistically your never really prepared 100% so its throws everything outta whack. Your mental state, your physical state, your social state.

I mean there's not one thing that having a kid doesnt effect.
It totally changes everything in a strange way, and not how you ever thought it would.
So you can hear from people about this "change" but you relly just dont get it at all until you go through it.
i can say that only cuz that was me, i kept on hearing this stuff, and thought ya ya life will change, ya ya my likes and dislikes will change.   But only now i think back and say....ohhhhhhh thats what they really meant!!!

Every parent i have ever met all says this " they grow up so fast and change so fast"  although i feel like iv had you a life time and these 4 1/2 months feel like years i imagine when i look back im gonna say ohhhhh that what they meant (= im still trying to savor every moment and embrace the new changes. So its all good!

Just like your changing daily, im changing right along with you. My wants, needs, likes all are changing   but i guess thats just all a part of nature. for evolution to take place we must continue to change and transform I guess.
I am head over heals in love with you, every day i become more attached to you, just when i think how its impossible to love something more, the very next day comes and i say "0hhhh" ya I can love you more.

Some days are easier then others but the days that are hard  still are worth every min.
The hardest part has becoming trying to leave you for a few hours here and there.
I'm with you 24/7. Since I work from home it's been really nice not having to leave you with anyone. But once in a while I think its good for me to go and do things by myself and so your dad or grandparents watch you.
But then I usually feel guilty and wanna rush home right away to see you.
(funny little spell in me you have little girl. )
When your grandma offers watch you I think- ok we can have an adult night without worrying about getting you to bed or feeding you for a few hours, but when it comes down to it, I can't leave you yet!! Yep must be a some sort of weird new mom syndrome, but I guess when I think about it, the time I spent with you is very precious to me and I don't want to miss anything.

I use to feel like that about going out on the weekends. I always wanted to go out so we dont miss anything fun. Now that's all changed.
I love spending time with friends but still rather chill with you at any time
But I guess that's where the balance comes in. Just like any relationship ts good to sometimes have breaks from one another, to be around other adults and to be around different environments.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012


Life is full of distractions, some good some bad.
But many many distractions. So I'm learning to get what I want & need to stay focused on my priorities.
Sounds simple but it's not, being a person that gets distracted easily and sometimes sucked into others people life's and dramas. I decided to make some changes. 

I sat down with your dad and made a list of what we wanted and what we needed.
lil Haydens Bday party
before any change can take place I think it's important to see in writing what it is your trying to focus on.

After completing the list we realized all our wants in needs where connected .
It was actually pretty simple. Everything led back to health, wealth & happiness.
Now I know you can have one of those or two and be good. But why not have all three if its possible. ---Every person should.

So now that We or i have specific goals, we needed to figure out how to achieve them.
So we broke it all down and created a map of how to do all that.

Sounds weird but it actually isn't.

If you take anything in this world and take it apart, as long as your paying attention you can know how to put it back together.

But.....Above them all, is you.

Iv realized but trying to achieve all that I must do few simple things, cut out negative people & thoughts.

chillin w/your pops

It's important to surround your self with people that wanna get ahead ( rather if it's (mentally,physically or financially) doesn't really matter which but thats what you need.

I know what distracts me, so I know try to avoid that.

For instance I no longer keep my phone near me. I leave it in another room or silence it until i have time to get back to friends and family.

I try to stay in the moment of things and enjoy them, then worrying about past or future.

mellow yellow
Maybe not all will like that but
I'm just trying to stayed focused & spend quality time with my baby without distractions.

Got of track!! Haha
Ok  our plan is,
- eating healthier!! Iv been tring to cook home a lot more, and not just that, eating healthier doesn't always mean cutting out every unhealthy thing.

I really thinks you can eat just about everything but in moderation.
But the most important part of eating healthier, isn't what you can't eat. It's about what you should eat.
Most of our food today has been so processed, chemical sprayed, and modified that it's hard to say if theres any nutrient left in it. so that's why it's good to at least put some nutrients in your body ( and I think what contains the most nutrients is simply anything that grows outta the ground) fruits, veggies, nuts, beans etc.
So my advise to you my sweet girl, eat whatever you want just in moderation and then few times a few make sure to do a high dose of nutrients ( so some raw juice using a juicer or throw it all in a blender.) orrrr I maybe I'll just breast feed you forever !! ( since I hear that's one of the most nutritious liquids out there!!) pretty crazy what our bodies can produce!
your kisses are the best thing ever!
Point of all this nonsense is its
-important to have priorities (sticking to them is key)
-taking care of your body & mind
- being mindful and respecting all around you . ( people, animals the earth & so on)

so true
more chillin w/dad

Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Chunkie monkey pics 4 1/2 months

I'll blog soon, but here are some pics so far.
Oh so I don't forget! You rolled over for the first time from your back to your front today all on your own!!! ;) and you also went in the pool for the first time,( so im thinking since you liked it so much you can be the next Micheal Phelps, you dont have to win 20 some medals like he did, id really settle with 1 or 2 gold or silver medals.

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Dr appointment today 4 month check up

Your doing great! Developing right on time." Your perfect"doc said :) hehe. What mom doesn't love to hear that.
You got the rest of your vaccines today ... I hated it!!! And wanted to rip the doctors hair out for making u cry

At 4 month dr appointment today :
Your hight is 64.1cm ( 2'1.25)
Your weight is 14lb 6 oz
BMI is 15.85
Head circumference - 41cm (16.14")
At 2 months you were:
Height -58.4cm (1'11)
Weight-11lb 11oz
BMI was 15.53
Head circum- 38.5cm (15.16")

Your grabbing onto everything in sight, mostly my hair!
You get super excited when you see yourself in the mirror, although you don't know it's you yet, you reach out and touch the reflection and have a confused look on your face to why it's doesn't feel like a hand.
You blow bubbles with your mouth( mostly cuz I think u might be starting to teeth)
You don't like people you don't know trying to hold you, you prefer to be in my arms all the time, or at least to have me in your view.
If I get out of your sight or you can't hear me, you get startled and start crying.
You lovvvvve your dad, you give him the biggest smile when he gets home.
As tired as I get from holding you all day, feeding, changing, playing the second I give you to your dad, I can't walk away and want you immediately back.
I sometimes look forward to you taking a nap so I could get a quick break and catch up on house or work. But then I keep checking on you wanting you to wake up cause I miss u.
I adore you like no other, I could kiss you and hug you all day! I'm pretty sure I do ;) although u love me losses n hugs, I realize it's only a matter of time before you say " ewwww mom"
So I'm gonna enjoy this as much as I can.
I love you more then you will ever know. More then I ever knew I could.

Greating Cards